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The late 1980’s.Suburbs, west of Boston, MA, USA. Smack Dab in the middle of Whitey Bulger’s Boston Irish Mob Reign, 13 years prior to the commencement of Patriot Reign and nearly 30 ahead of S1EP1 of McMafia. 31 years to the future, a vision of one of Dane’s successors boarding a plane for the company’s annual sales kickoff meeting with a “comfort animal” seems unfathomable.
Dane Be Damned, Life Moves On
10:40 am – The salesman is steamed, charging into Danes office like a raging bull, he lets fly full throttle. “DANE!!!!”, “What the F@#$K is this shit all about??”, He fumes, extending his arm fully with 3 rumpled pink messages in hand. “This is complete Bull Shit”. “Relax Sparky, have a seat “, replies Dane, the Best Damn VP of Sales on the Planet, calmly slapping another spontaneous nickname on his new hire while recognizing the salesman’s sincere aggravation with the circumstances, “What are you so jammed up about?……The salesman rails on, “Got, these messages from YOU“. “YOU wrote they all were READY TO BUY the product”. “Come to find out, YOUtossed ACME Camera out of the building, the second guy is a useless consultant, and the guy at American Defense says the people that visited last week can’t “buy a roll of toilet paper””.
10:42am– Dane calmly stares the salesman down, leaning forward in his chair by the round conference table, elbows on his knees. He points to an adjacent chair at his table, “Have a seat, relax”, he says.” Dane begins,” ALL TRUE”. he smiles, “First off, there are people at all 3 companies who want the product.” “That’s clear”. “Second, Acme and American have SHIT for legacy systems and they have huge development teams with lots of money”. “Third, we’re replacing SPECS 5Z (the legacy software development platform at Acme) and AUGI (the legacy system at American) everywhere”. “Their products can’t, don’t and won’t ever do what our products do”. “NO ONE DOES WHAT WE DO”. “Those two companies need our product and will buy our product“. “It’s just a matter of time”. “Your job is to figure out how to sell it to them”. “And the consultant?””he actually offered to buy the product.”. “He used to work for SPECTRAFUSION (the makers of the SPECS 5Z Platform) and they’re trying to buy the product through him”.
10:44am- The salesman is still hot, “Dane, come on, what about tossing Acme out of the building?”. “Talk about burning bridges?”. Dane jumps in immediately, “I was too nice, I should’ve tossed them out even quicker than I did”. “We demand commitment”. “Bottom line, the customer made a commitment to me, then reneged”. “That’s not ok”. “That’s not how we do business here”. “And as far as burning bridges?” “We’ll build them back even stronger”. “We have plenty of support in that account”. “Your Job is to figure out how to leverage that”. American? great opportunity, AUGI is old, Bush just got elected so spending will be big, and….”, The salesman jumps in, “but I heard the head I.T. guy hates us”, Dane immediately cuts the salesman off, “OF Course I.T. hates us,” “WE’RE NOT THE INCUMBENT”, “I.T. Hates Everybody who’s not the INCUMBENT”. “You know what to do”, says Best Damn. The salesman continues “I’m following up with the business, Dane”, Says the salesman, “I’ve got some names there”. “Of course,”, says Dane, “You gotta manage those I.T. guys”, “I will”, says the salesman, “been doing it for a while”. “I knew there was a reason we hired you”, smiles Dane. “Those two accounts are goldmines, absolute goldmines. WTF are you waiting for?” “Get in there and sell those guys something”. “For Christ sakes, quit wasting time”.
10:50am- “I’m already scheduled at both Acme and American”, says the salesman. “One of Henry’s (the aforementioned toss-ee) guys forgot his coat and I’m dropping it off tonight”. “I’ll just blame you for everything and be the good guy”, relays the salesman, choosing to share with Dane his plans to employ a “Blame Your Boss” and “Good Guy/Bad Guy” approach with Acme. “In terms of the consultant, it’s a “Yabba Dabba Doo ” up the middle.” says Dane. ” We’ll sell him the product if we have too, but we’d prefer not to. ” ” I get it, restricted trade law”, says the salesman, “I’ve already spoken to the resellers about it”. “You got it “, says Dane, “He’ll get worn down, …… go elsewhere, maybe get his hands on the product or maybe not, but he’ll waste a whole lot of his time and get bad information”. “Meanwhile, I want you selling to real customers. “
1052am– “Thanks Dane, I’m on it”. “Class finishes up in an hour and I’m done with all this training shit”. “Done?” “Are you quitting?” “You’re in sales, you’re never DONE”. “Never done training, never done learning, never done prospecting?” “Let me know when you’re DONE, and I’ll be sure to make sure you’re off the Payroll”. “Thanks Dane, “I got it”. “Good, SEE YOU”, Says Best Damn, as he rolls back into his office for another meeting.
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