SMACK!!!!!!!! A scuffed-up Wingtip plants itself forcefully atop a conference table. The passing suit clad salesman whirls his head. An intimidating figure looms, hunched, cigarette in hand, elbow perched on the thigh, Wingtip complete with inserted leg forming a 90-degree angle at the knee. Amid billowing smoke, the figure sports a Cheshire cat smile. “WHAT HAVE YOUU SOOOLD TOOODAAAAY?” croons the mid 40’s something VP of Customer Service in an Australian accent, one that only Crocodile Dundee could find appealing.
The mid 20’s something 5’11” salesman is wrapping Day 2 on the job at one of Boston’s hot new startups. He stops in his tracks, caught off guard, feeling uneasy with the question. “WTF” he thinks, this guy’s not even in sales, why’s he bustin’ MY NADS? “Oh, Hi Albert”, the salesman replies, ever so politely, choosing to take the high road with the gentleman 20 years his senior “…just finished up Day 2 training, unbelievable product!” WHAT HAVE YOU SOLD TODAY?” Albert firmly reiterates, “YOU ARE SALESMAN, YOUR JOB IS TO SELL SOMETHING”.
They stand there and look at each other. The salesman simply doesn’t have the right words on the tip of his tongue. An intense day of training perhaps? Or, simply not expecting a question like that on Day 2 on the job from someone not “in sales”? Either way, a whiff. Albert takes a deep drag on the cigarette, his eyes narrow as the Cheshire cat smile fades into a glare as he peers disapprovingly over his reading glasses, “I’m on it”, says the salesman, attempting to take control of the situation. The salesman starts to speak, Albert loses interest, not hearing the salesmans’ words, going back about his business. “Good to see you Albert “says the salesman, sheepishly, as he retreats 10 feet straight ahead to his office, thinking, “sitting next to this guy is really gonna suck”.
It’s the late 80’s, the dawn of the ISV (Independent Software Vendor). Network Computing, Relational Databases, 4 GL’s, Workstations and Computer-aided – Anything are all the rage. Companies like Oracle and Sybase are getting momentum nationally. Apple is a “has been” company run by some guy from Pepsi named Sculley. RT 128 proudly brands itself “AMERICAS TECHNOLOGY REGION” with big blue signs. Tech companies dominating the local landscape include, Digital Equipment Corp, GTE, Lotus, Data General, Interleaf, Apollo Computer, and a smaller, up and coming company called EMC. Computervision and Prime Computer have recently merged.
It’s 545 pm, the salesman is thinking about getting to the Sports Club for pick up hoops, “too late to stack the chalkboard “he thinks to himself. Winners always got to stay on the court, so getting there early to stack the chalkboard with 4 studs and demonstrate his considerable point guard skills was a priority whenever possible. It’s then that he sees them. A pile of pink message slips stacked neatly on his desk.
He quickly scans the stack, 3 stand out, originally addressed to the VP of Sales. A pen mark passes through the VP’s name. The VP has written the salesman’s name over his in the “to” box. All 3 messages have the same notation. “Ready to Buy The Product!!!”. “WOW”, thought the salesman, this is GREAT. Companies are lining up to buy this stuff!! “I must’ve joined the right company”? Or did he?
The salesman leans back in his swivel chair. Still wincing a bit about the encounter with Albert, ‘WHAT HAVE YOU SOLD TODAY?”, that Australian twang still ringing incessantly in his ear. It was an excellent question. Not only had the salesman not sold anything that day, he had completely fumbled the answer and his initial encounter with an important exec in the company. One thing the salesman did know after 2 days of being on board was this wasn’t a place where you screw up. This was a place where “you better” sell something, AND QUICKLY. But there was still so much the salesman didn’t know. Was this the right company? Was the product any good? Was the company set up to win? Was the offer of employment a fair one? What would the culture be like? Could he achieve the career goals he had set?
The salesman didn’t know the future on that late Autumn day in the late 80’s, How could he? But he was embarking on a 2-decade journey that would completely transform his life. The salesman would be introduced and work alongside brilliant people, take on immense business challenges, work with fabulous customers, move more than 10 times in less than a decade, and live global experiences he had yet dare imagine. The places, the experiences, the cultures, the technology, the barriers, the situations, the activities, the people, all combined to create real business insights and an incredibly rich world class business education. One that those getting MBA’s from Ivy league colleges simply couldn’t earn.
The salesman packs his briefcase and checks his watch, 610 pm, no hoops tonight. He makes his way through the narrow, dimly lit, maze – like corridor toward the center stairwell that would lead him toward the “back door “of the building. The sales team always enters and exits through the “backdoor”. The dark industrial carpet, vanilla plastic walls, shaded windows and hum of the hardware combine to create a feeling of being on a different planet. Open, bright, light filled startup collaboration spaces are twenty years in the future.
The salesman makes his way down the staircase, “Hey Donny”, the salesman says, as he spies one of his new coworkers, a demo specialist, brooding over his desk near the back door. “What’s happening? “Documentation”, moans Donny, shaking his head,” I hate writing this shit, not my job but they make me write it” . Two days in, and there was that word again, S-H-I-T. Shit. Most every variety, variation and derivative of the word is well established at the company. Shithead, Shitbird, Shithouse, tough Shit, you gotta be Shitten me, I don’t give a Shit, who gives a Shit? who gives two Shits? Chickenshit. The word is ground, sliced, diced, and sautéed into the company culture the same way Emeril spins up a multi ingredient mix for a gourmet burger. Headed home? says Donny, “Yeah, headed to Hudson”, says the salesman, “New Hampshire”? replies Donny, “Mass”, says the salesman, somewhat annoyed at having to declare the State of his recently purchased “Boston Area” condominium. “See you in the A.M.” The salesman reaches the back door. It’s heavy, no windows, reinforced steel, multiple locking mechanisms, designed to keep the bad guys out, bad guys in the mean streets of the suburbs west of Boston. With that, The salesman is out the door, headed for 45 minutes of Sports Radio immersion enroute to the condo.
Yes, today was a tough day, and it didn’t conclude all that well, given the salesman’s encounter with Albert. Some “teaching moments” for certain. But tomorrow had promise, the pink slips were waiting, in need of fast follow up. Yes, tomorrow was going to be a great day. Or was it??
Want to read what tomorrow brings? Like this, forward and/or send me an email at Paul@AMSADVISE.com and let me know what you think. In the meantime,
GO SELL SOMETHING!!!!
